I started this site shortly after I received a terrifying diagnosis. My goal was simple. To be of service. To make life easier for people with celiac disease and other digestive disorders. Helping others was the perfect distraction. When I started out, I wanted to cheer people up, not bring them down.
I realize now that while I mentioned the diagnosis several years ago, I haven’t shared a piece of myself that matters. The part that went into shock the day I was told I had multiple sclerosis. I’ve dealt with this neurological condition every day since I was diagnosed in 2006. But the feelings that come up are something I haven’t spoken about. Something I’ve been holding in for a long time.
When I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis I entered a strange limbo. For 8 years, my health was good enough. Then, in 2014 things took a turn for the worse and my life since has been full of ups and downs.
Things got bad last year after a trip to Mexico with my husband. Upon returning, I ended up in the hospital with transverse myelitis, numb from the neck down. I remained that way for months.
I’ve spent the entire last year rebuilding my health. Going to Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy treatments 6 days per week, getting physical therapy 3 days per week, receiving intravenous nutrients 1 to 2 days per week, and occupational therapy to regain use of my left hand (my dominant hand) 1 day per week. It was a grueling rehabilitation, and thankfully it mostly worked.
I stuck to my schedule week-in-and-week-out. I missed almost every winter weekend trip to the mountains with my family. I entirely skipped trips to Denver for work. Events such as book signings, TV appearances, and fundraising dinners went out the window. I haven’t been to Denver in well over a year. The geography of my life became extremely small.
In addition to local trips, I also gave up air travel because each time I’ve had an MS attack has been right after an airplane flight. My doctors think the low pressure in planes might affect my brain and nervous system, or that it might be the radiation. Frustratingly, no one understands it. So they told me to avoid air travel. I wasn’t happy about that, but I didn’t set foot on an airplane for over a year.
Last week I went on my first trip in 13 months. My husband and I flew to California. We ate our way through Napa, then we met up with the boys and threw my Dad an 80th birthday party at an adorable restaurant in my hometown, Davis.
It was challenging to take more than a year off and truly slow down. Many people could not understand it and questioned my decision. It took all of both my willpower and my ability to surrender to get well. To give myself the space I needed to heal. To say no to countless invitations for work and play.
I wanted to write about this to give you all a real update of where I am. It might look neat and tidy, and even perfect on social media, but that is far from the reality. Like so many of you, I have struggles both large and small everyday that can’t be conveyed through a photo. I live in limbo, dealing with a major neurological illness, on top of celiac disease, hashimoto’s autoimmune thyroiditis, and several other challenging medical issues.
Although I’m continuing to rest and heal, I live not knowing what’s around the corner. I hope that by sharing this piece of myself I can provide comfort to others walking their own tightrope. Those in the darkest days, dealing with something we are told to hold in. Thank you for supporting me since I started this blog in 2006. I’m so grateful we are on this path together.
SherriS. says
Bless you Elana! Healing thoughts are sent your way.
Kat says
Dear Elana,
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us and also your journey. As a intensely private person, I appreciate how hard this post may have been to write. I want to thank you for your honesty and braveness; in addition to the wonderful contribution you have made in my life. Like many people I am sure, unbeknown You have made my families Paleo journey so much more easy and delicious via the recipes, cook books and of course blog. I wish you all the best on your health journey.
David says
Hi Elana so sorry to hear of your struggles. If I’m cooking up a treat your site is the first I go to. Thank you. Best wishes and prayers.
Halina Cohen says
Dear Elana, your absence did not go unnoticed… I was wondering why you have slowed down… thank you so much for sharing such a private and painful journey with us, your fans and followers. I wish you strength and plenty of joy every day. I use your recipes as much as I can. Two weeks ago I made the chocolate torte with coconut flour, it was amazing! YOU are amazing! Take gentle care of yourself.
Shawna says
Elana, I appreciate your work so very much! I was diagnosed with Lupus 4 years ago, and the naturopath in my rheumatologists office told me to eliminate grains and “follow a Paleo type diet”. I had never heard of such a thing. I was familiar with low-carb dieting for weight loss, but to cut out grains completely, long term? In the first weeks I found your site. For the first couple of months, it was an encouragement just to know that there were recipes I could someday try. Eventually, I was out of bed more and could actually try some baking. I think the triple chocolate chip cookies were the first recipe I tried. What a treat to have a cookie at Christmas! Your bread and brownies are also favorites of anyone who tries them.
Your recipes are still my go-to. They are simple and they consistently turn out. My favorite, and one I make a couple times a month, is “Mushroom Lo Mein” from your cookbook. I don’t care for mushrooms, and sub with zucchini or eggplant, but there is something so soothing and comforting about that recipe, and it goes together easily.
Please continue to focus on your own health and your family. We will still be here when you have time to try test new recipes again. In the meantime, we have this treasure trove to access and enjoy the glimpses you are able to share of what you are learning and experiencing.
Holly says
Sorry to hear, your recipes are delicious. Have you heard of qnrt to reset neurological systems? A gal I know that has ms did it and she is doing great!
Meredith says
Elana, I was diagnosed with some level of gluten intolerance 7 years ago and it threw me for a loop, my journey of health has come back and hit me time and time again but through it all I have followed you and cooked with you, my first response to my friends and coworkers when they start down a similar journey, is have you read Elanas pantry yet… You inspired me to get back in the kitchen where my passion was and figure out my limits, amazing things happened! You are wonderful, you feel like a sister, I’m always praying for you and your continued journey of health, thank you for all the time and energy you have put into these recipes they are amazing every time.
Grace says
Dear Elana, you’ve been a huge inspiration for me. I also thrive with few ailments like celiac, hashimoto’s and experienced cancer. I’ve tried many thing but what pulled everything together were simple energy medicine excercises by Donna Eden who overcame MS and many other illnesses. Her 5 minutes daily routine made a huge difference in my health. Wishing you all the best.
http://youtu.be/Di5Ua44iuXc
http://innersource.net/em/
Leora says
Bless you. Brave of you to post this and it will help others. I love your recipes.
Cindy says
You are such an inspiration to me! Thank you for all the wonderful recipes and helpful information which has turned my Celiac Disease and pre lupus condition into a manageable lifestyle. I really hope that you know you have given so many of us hope and recipes that makes eating fun and delicious again!!!! Sending lots of positive energy your way!!!!