I started this site shortly after I received a terrifying diagnosis. My goal was simple. To be of service. To make life easier for people with celiac disease and other digestive disorders. Helping others was the perfect distraction. When I started out, I wanted to cheer people up, not bring them down.
I realize now that while I mentioned the diagnosis several years ago, I haven’t shared a piece of myself that matters. The part that went into shock the day I was told I had multiple sclerosis. I’ve dealt with this neurological condition every day since I was diagnosed in 2006. But the feelings that come up are something I haven’t spoken about. Something I’ve been holding in for a long time.
When I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis I entered a strange limbo. For 8 years, my health was good enough. Then, in 2014 things took a turn for the worse and my life since has been full of ups and downs.
Things got bad last year after a trip to Mexico with my husband. Upon returning, I ended up in the hospital with transverse myelitis, numb from the neck down. I remained that way for months.
I’ve spent the entire last year rebuilding my health. Going to Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy treatments 6 days per week, getting physical therapy 3 days per week, receiving intravenous nutrients 1 to 2 days per week, and occupational therapy to regain use of my left hand (my dominant hand) 1 day per week. It was a grueling rehabilitation, and thankfully it mostly worked.
I stuck to my schedule week-in-and-week-out. I missed almost every winter weekend trip to the mountains with my family. I entirely skipped trips to Denver for work. Events such as book signings, TV appearances, and fundraising dinners went out the window. I haven’t been to Denver in well over a year. The geography of my life became extremely small.
In addition to local trips, I also gave up air travel because each time I’ve had an MS attack has been right after an airplane flight. My doctors think the low pressure in planes might affect my brain and nervous system, or that it might be the radiation. Frustratingly, no one understands it. So they told me to avoid air travel. I wasn’t happy about that, but I didn’t set foot on an airplane for over a year.
Last week I went on my first trip in 13 months. My husband and I flew to California. We ate our way through Napa, then we met up with the boys and threw my Dad an 80th birthday party at an adorable restaurant in my hometown, Davis.
It was challenging to take more than a year off and truly slow down. Many people could not understand it and questioned my decision. It took all of both my willpower and my ability to surrender to get well. To give myself the space I needed to heal. To say no to countless invitations for work and play.
I wanted to write about this to give you all a real update of where I am. It might look neat and tidy, and even perfect on social media, but that is far from the reality. Like so many of you, I have struggles both large and small everyday that can’t be conveyed through a photo. I live in limbo, dealing with a major neurological illness, on top of celiac disease, hashimoto’s autoimmune thyroiditis, and several other challenging medical issues.
Although I’m continuing to rest and heal, I live not knowing what’s around the corner. I hope that by sharing this piece of myself I can provide comfort to others walking their own tightrope. Those in the darkest days, dealing with something we are told to hold in. Thank you for supporting me since I started this blog in 2006. I’m so grateful we are on this path together.
Fiona says
Hi Elana
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I just stopped by your website today to see where you are at! To me, through sharing your challenges you have actually achieved something very wonderful for your many readers. You have helped to validate each and every one of our own health challenges. And helped us to share too – online and with people in our own corners of the world. Now that’s an amazing achievement. Of course, you continue to be one of our heroes! So many people want your recipes, once they have tasted a sample. So we get to tell them about Elana and how she really stepped out all those years ago to find a different “gluten free”. There are very few days that one of your books isn’t hanging out in the kitchen.
Now for something completely different: Last week, we stumbled upon Dr Randy Tent on YouTube. He captured our attention because he has a different way of approaching health. Very straight up. He talks about MS, (and almost every other challenge you can think of) and has 35 years experience. I am considering a Skype session with him (I am one of those in the “too hard basket” for doctors and health practitioners). I think his website is called Diverse Health Services.
Today your Chocolate Cupcakes will grace our cake plate! Hug to you.
David P. York Sr. says
Dear Elana, I just read your post on your health conditions, and to tell you the truth, it brought tears to my own eyes. I used to be a truck driver and I loved it, but on Sept. 10 2013, I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation, high blood pressure, diabetes, cardiomyopathy, and sleepapnea. That killed my trucking career, landed me in the hospital for 3 days and ended up putting me on disability. I had no way to make a living anymore, and really didn’t adjust very well, I was depressed, I had worked all my life, and had never been in the hospital a day in my life. I have had some encouraging news though, I saw my cardiologist on 5-25-2016, and he told me that due to the medication I was taking , my heart condition was getting better . So keep your chin up and keep smiling, remember, it is always darkest just before the dawn. You never how much your testimony will touch someone’s life. We will keep you in our prayers.
LisaB says
*HUGS*
Your work has been such a blessing in my life, as well as in so many others that I have referred on over. Blessings to you, Elana and family.
From ours.
Zahia says
Elana, I often meant to leave a comment for your great recipes but I never did it until I read your message from the heart. It touched me very much and I will from now on put you in my meditations.
I have my own struggles with my health and like you continue to do my best and hope that one day I will find my energy again.
I know you must have so much information coming your way but I could not avoid telling you about this book that could help you or even your followers on this blog. It is called YOU ARE THE PLACEBO by Joe Dispenza. It is an amazing book and even though I didn’t overcome my issues yet, I continue to follow the guidelines of the author ( and healthy lifestyle of course) because so many people with incurable diseases succeeded with perseverance. Please take a look at it.
Again, it is not like any other books I read about health..and I have read so many!
Love and light
Mary Weddle says
I think it is so good that you shared your story with all. I put on my smile face when in public. I have had trigeminal neuralgia for 26 years. Mine is A-Typical, so my pain is everyday and stress definitely brings it on more so. You have accomplished amazing things during your illness of which you can be proud of. You have helped many others. Thank God that you have a supportive husband as well. Even with all that good you have, I must say that my heart goes out to you. You must be a brave soul, strong-minded, and have amazing perseverance. Blessings to you each day, and you will be in my prayers. You are a role model for me!!! thank you,…………………………Namaste…………………….Mary Weddle
Mary says
I will be forever grateful for all the hard work and love that has gone into this journey you have shared with so many. Blessings to you, wishing you continued improvement, healthy days full of joy and love from your family and friends.
Shelley Piser says
Hi Elana,
I think of you as I pass your site to many people who may be interested. You are so strong and sometimes life just puts a huge STOP sign in our way when we just need to listen and that is what it sounds like you have done. I love what you say and I love your recipes. I think you are beautiful gift to all who can be helped by your wisdom
Thinking of you
Shelley Piser
Kristin says
You are amazing! Thank you for sharing your story. You are filled with grace, honesty, determination and more! I have been following you for a while and truly love your recipes…and everything about what you write and share. I send you healing love and light on this challenging journey. We all have our stories and you said it so well. Keep fighting you beautiful and brave woman! You change lives. Thank you for sharing a piece of you. Love, light and gratitude!
Val Lynn says
Dear Elana, Thank you for writing from your heart, for starting this blog that has stood the test of internet time (!).
Colorful photos and words on the web can paint a rosy picture that belies the truth. But it is our humanity that ties us all together and not one is without trials and tribulations. Along with our joys, we all have sorrows. Sharing both eases burdens and buoys the world. I hope these words buoy your spirit and ease your mind.
You have inspired me in my kitchen, offering hope and a path toward the salvation of creativity and nourishing foods. Bet you thought that Paleo Zucchini Bread was just another recipe… I am sure I am not the only one you have invisibly touched. As it happened, I found your website through word-of-mouth – not the internet – from yet another person who found solace and help here in these pages.
I wish you good health, thank you for what have done here.
Jen K. says
Never give up hope that you’ll be feeling great again! I’ve had MS since 1994 (now 44 years old) and I’m healthier and more energetic than I have ever been. It’s been a couple of years since my occasional mild exacerbation – nothing compared to when I was initially diagnosed and had major exacerbations that compromised my sight and dexterity. I’m not on any medications but avoid sugar, wheat and everything that triggers an inflammatory response. I work out vigorously every day (run 5 miles easily, barre, Kickboxing, Spinning, weight lifting). As much as possible, I avoid stress (despite having three sons ages 14, 9, and 7). I learned to prioritize and say no to extraneous outside requests. I take probiotics, high doses of Vitamin D, Vit Bs, Alpha Lipoic Acid, and Omega 3. Sleep and snuggles from my kids and husband also help keep my stress levels down and I’m optimistic that I’m going to remain on this path of good health. Keep searching for the right treatment plan for you and know that we all are rooting for you!
Lori says
Elana, you’re a gift to so many. Praying for your continuous healing and improved good health. Thank you for sharing your story.