What’s Wrong with Me?

Nothing. That’s right. Nothing is wrong with me. I’ve stopped asking myself this question. Stopped asking “what’s wrong with me?” when I feel tired. Stopped asking it when I feel sick. Stopped asking it when everything is not going according to my generally high expectations.

Something shifted after I created the post, A Piece of Me. Committing pen to paper to write about the health issues that I’ve dealt with during the last year made my own reality more poignant. My health challenges became a little less abstract, and started to come into focus on an emotional level.

In becoming more in touch with my own reality, I  began to disassociate from myself less, and started to directly address my needs more. Am I tired? Lie down for half an hour. Am I sore? Go in the infrared sauna for 10 minutes. I started to meet myself where I was, instead of where I wanted to be.

I think everyone who is sick wonders, “what’s wrong with me?” For the most part, it’s a natural response. We want to fix what is out of balance. But sometimes “what’s wrong with me?” can be an attacking question, rather than a healing one. And I figured out that attacking myself isn’t going to heal anything. In fact, on a holographic level, it’s simply training my body-mind to attack itself, which is in fact, the definition of an autoimmune disease.

Another wonderful discovery came from writing A Piece of Me. As I read through thousands of messages that you wrote on the blog, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and email, I spent a lot of time absorbed in the goodness of your blessings and well wishes. And the result was that your incredible responses truly helped me learn to be with myself in a nicer, gentler way. The love you expressed to me was incredibly impactful. In fact, it was life changing.

So thanks from the bottom of my heart for your remarkable comments and your outpouring of support, kindness, empathy, and prayers. I am so lucky to have you my dearest readers. We have created such an amazing community here and it has helped to guide me in my healing journey. I only hope that I provide as much support to you, as you all have given to me!

I always come to your website for a recipe because everything I make turns out well. Today I came here and it made me cry, but I leave again with a fabulous recipe, one that teaches me how to look after myself. Thank you once again.


77 responses to “What’s Wrong with Me?”

  1. Thank you for your update and for all your work. I can not tell you the amount of times I share your blog with others who have concerns over food. One always has to try their best to make the best of where one is no matter what!

  2. dear Elana
    I so loved reading this latest post. It makes my heart leap with joy for you! I have been part of this wonderful community that you have built for us for many years. In the early days of my own changes in my life – diet, attitude , thoughts you have been by my side with your inspirational approach – not to mention fabulous food ideas!!!! Thank you so much. I feel that in this technological world the mystery – and magic – which we can create, is in this unseen connection that can be created, over the whole planet. The mystery of it is that you can never truly know how many people you have touched and helped in so many unknown (to you) ways!! Please know that you are loved, thanked and blessed for it all. I wish you much love – and truly celebrate in this amazing insight that you have discovered. I feel sure that this is a major step in your ongoing self-discovery journey. Speaking only for myself, this particular insight which you have shared, mirrors one which I have also just discovered, so I can thank you for this confirmation. I think it makes it stronger for us and for the countless others who will also resonate with this understanding of how to care for ourselves. THANK YOU!!!! Infinite Blessings to you

  3. Hi Elana,

    I want to thank you for your post, and for the connected one too. You’re right, things can look very neat on social media, and the people who love and support us will never know anything different if we don’t tell them.

    Please forgive me for asking–I’m asking this because there are thousands of women who are suffering in a manner similar to you due to autoimmune disease caused by silicone implants. We call it BII, Breast Implant Illness, but there is a doctor doing research (davka in Israel) and he calls it ASIA. In case it might be helpful, or even just informative, here are a couple of links. You are welcome to contact me personally if you like–actually, you do every time you post! Thank you so much for all you do. Most of all, be well.



    • Joanna
      Thank you so much for this post. Because of you and the links you provided I now know why I’ve been so sick with all of these digestive issues, food sensitivities, heavy metals toxicity, thyroid issues, adrenal fatigue amongst others. I have had my silicone implants for nine years and on August 11 31 days after reading your post I will have them removed. I am still blown away every day by the sheer numbers of women coming forward and telling their stories of sickness due to these seemingly harmless implants. Please keep spreading the word I had no idea!
      Cindy Fraser

      • Thanks so much Joanna for this important information! I do not have implants but am so happy we can help those who do!

  4. I will Pray for you and your family. The crosses we carry are out weighed by the Graces we are given by God. I pray that you are open to all His graces and place your trust in Him.

  5. I woke up this morning feeling not very energetic and foggy could not think and mostly telling myself ” whats wrong with me”
    I know whats wrong..ive spend the cold weekend wnjoying food thats full of gluten and now my body is reacting. Trying to beat myself up about doing that isnt helping and reading your message was confirmation. Just have to double up on my minerals and vitamins today and detox too… that should get me bouncing back soon.
    Thank you for sharing and thank you for your awesome recipes. Best of health to you dear.

  6. Hear hear! I’ve always had lots of pain in my body, as well as fatigue, brain fog – all sorts of maladies that crop up on a regular basis. I’ve seen tons of practitioners, and no one really has any answers. Awhile ago, I was talking to a friend about it and mentioned how frustrated I was that no one was able to diagnose What’s Wrong With Me. Her response was “who cares? You’re just living your life.” She was right! It’s really shifted my thinking about my health and, more so, the way I move in this world. Sometimes, I feel like crap and I have to manage it. That’s really all I need to know. Good luck to you and I love your blog! Sam

  7. Modern society has morphed into one that honors the mind over the body. However, this has caused a schizophrenic split in our being. An unbalance. Too often we go…go…go…do…do…do because that is what we think is right, that is what our minds have come to value. In that process we leave behind ‘being’. However, we are human-beings…not human-doings. A friend once said to me “Never ‘should’ on yourself. Be still and feel if what you think you ‘should’ do is really something that is igniting your passion. If not…if you can’t do it out of love, joy and passion…then leave it for now, find your balance again, then revisit it. There is ‘nothing wrong’ with any one of us…there is only signals from our body that something is out of balance. Disease is brought into physical reality when those signals have gone unrecognized for too long. Thank you for being so honest with your life. It has reminded me of these teachings and helped me shift into stillness today. My body was trying to tell me by giving me an aching pain in my neck and shoulders (not voicing my own desires/shouldering too much responsibility) and I was so busy I forgot to check in and pay attention to the cues. It’s time for some fresh air, a hot bath and then igniting the passion with my beloved.

  8. Wow this really spoke to me. Thank you. I have been asking the exact samw question and have finally given into knowing only God truly knows exactly what is going on in my physical body and He can lead me to the answers in His timing. Praying for you

  9. The years before internet and your blog were not easy. Thank you for your blog and sharing your life. You have helped me beyond words and I know I speak for many people.

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