In mid-March I wrote about the seriousness of COVID19. At that time, I didn’t know it would affect my family in a devastatingly personal way. I didn’t know that we’d be losing a loved one to COVID, and suffer so much more.
2020 Cancelled
I was scared and hunkered down at the outset of March, a bit before life stopped and 2020 was canceled, while many were still traveling around on vacations.
It Was The Worst Of Times
My knowledge and forethought did little to prepare me, or my family for the losses. Here I said “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Now it’s just the worst of times.
COVID And Our Loved Ones
COVID impacts us all with tremendous losses that are far too grave and widespread to detail here. Below are just a few of those my family has suffered.
Losing A Loved One To COVID
One family member is gone. One family friend is gone. Yes, two of our people are dead and will never come back.
COVID Rampant Danger
A robust young cousin suffered from COVID19. It was nothing like a flu. He appeared briefly at our Zoom Passover Seder and 15 days out looked like he had been hit by a truck.
Praying For Our Health Warriors
A dear friend is a nurse on the front lines and shows up for work day after day in New York City while we worry that she will not be given personal protective equipment (PPE). She doesn’t care. She wants to save your life. I pray she will not lose hers.
9/11 x Ten = 30,000 Dead
This virus has killed more than 30,000 Americans. That is ten 9/11s in a few weeks, and the death count marches on. I can no longer bear to hear the word “hoax” in any context whatsoever.
The Opposite Of Preparedness
Why does a simple one-syllable word bring me to tears? It reminds me that the US was focused on “small government” and killed our Global Health Office. It reminds me that while other countries were fighting a battle against invisible terror orders of magnitude more threatening than 9/11, our government was still denying its existence. That is the opposite of preparedness.
Patriotic Americans
This is the moment for patriotic Americans to make time for brave self-reflection. And for grieving. It is a time to understand what it is to be human and vulnerable. To look at what it means to be part of a family. And to look at how we can be better Americans.
A Time For Self-Reflection
This is the time for the patriotism that makes our country great. To look at our mistakes so that we can improve. A time to honor the fallen, so needlessly sacrificed to a terrifying enemy, as our country, ruled by disorganized dysfunction and chaos, allowed it to run rampant. We can do better than this.
marianne rinaldi says
My sincerest condolences. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family
Elana says
Marianne, thank you.
Joy Pulitzer says
Elana,
I am so very sorry for your loss. This is such a devastating time.
Elana says
Joy, thanks for your condolences. Sending hugs to you Gary and the twins.
Janet Bublitz says
Elana,
I’m so so sorry for your losses. I have followed you for years and feel a kinship to you. You and your family have gone through so much. I pray for better days for you and all of us, soon.
Elana says
Janet, I’m praying along with you for everyone.
Tove Gilbert-Morgan says
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Light and love.
Elana says
Thank you Tove.
Marylou Montgomery says
I’m so sorry for your loss, Elana.❤️ May the love and care you have given your followers over the years return to you to support you now!
Elana says
Marylou, thanks for your kind and thoughtful words. So grateful for you.
Lori Anderson says
My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending healing thoughts. May you and your family have opportunity to grieve.
Elana says
Lori, thanks for your super sweet and kinds words. Stay safe.
Lynn says
Tragic. There is no other word. I’m so sorry for the loss and the pain. For you and for all of us.
Passover this year felt so incredibly profound. I have never ever felt like I was in such a dark, narrow and terrifying place. We can defeat this enemy like we have repeatedly in our history. I look forward to working to see the end of this administration and the strength and redemption that grows out of that defeat.
Sending love to you. Gratitude also for all of your wonderful recipes!
Elana says
Lynn, thanks for your kind words, I’m so glad you are enjoying my recipes and I hope you and yours stay safe.
Karen Cohn says
I am so sorry for your loss. You have been such an inspiration for so many, especially at this difficult time. I want you to know that your Almond Orange cake was amazing. Please know that we all grieve with you. May the memory of your loved ones be a blessing. Sending love….
Elana says
Karen, thanks for your kind and thoughtful words focused on us during this time. Stay safe.
Giedre says
Dear Elana,
Its not easy to gather words to expressed sympathy for your and your family’s loss. May God of Heaven and Earth touch your bleeding heart and lead you to His light and hope even though there is so much darkness around, even sunny weather here in Ireland not strong enough to win against the darkness. And as a person who lost her mom at age 13 and dad at age 26 I can’t say that time will heal your loss and things will be OK. Life will be different with pain of loss, but thanks be to God that He blessed us His creatures with creative, resilient minds and hearts that we could turn this pain into a blessing for others and ourselves.
I love the way you invited us your readers (I’m no American but most of us in the same boat these days) for brave self reflection and grieving. Cause if life continued the way it was this time last year, who would want self reflection never mind brave one…and to join invitation to grieve. Thank you Elana for inviting us to do that. It makes me a bit frustrated when I hear invitations to more positivity, more effort to beautify garden, or learn another language or keep deep cleaning your house. I mean all of these things are good but we need to get our priorities right. Grieving first, deep cleaning of soul or if some of us see our soul as a garden so even better. What I love about community here is that most of us because of physical or other ailments were forced by life to grow into deeper thinkers, not to believe blindly what your doctor tells you but to know that we are given power (not just doctors etc) in our healing journey. And because most of us found your website in our healing journey, I want to share one verse which I hear a lot in Ireland these days.its from 2 chronicles ” if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and I will forgive their sin and heal their land”. We long for our land to be healed, even before virus we were hurt hearing about amount of chemicals dumped on land to grow crops every year, and as a result of that animals suffering, insects suffering, birds suffering, we humans suffering. And now with this virus on top of us we are suffering seven more.
Sorry Elana, when I start writing, there is no end to it, please forgive me if I act like one of Jobs friends talking and talking and talking (on plus side they spent few days with him grieving in silence). Please believe that I’m not looking for a platform to spread my message, but being a deep thinker I want to help with my mind, I care for your pain and I’m hurt and worried looking around and seeing and hearing things I see or hear.
And getting back to grieving one thing started to grieve me which wasn’t grieving me before. I knew in my mind that it was wrong, but actually it never grieved me. And that thing is abortions. It seems demand for abortions is increasing everywhere. And please I’m sharing this not to condemn, but to put minds of this community together and to unite towards journey of healing not just of our bodies but the land as well. My heart goes for families who lost income, businesses, who have to manage to pay rent. Abortions in current situation look like responsible and wise solution. But those of us who made a decision to look at God these days know that we are called to walk by faith and not by sight. Google and read stories of people who trusted God to provide and God did. Please google cause news on TV won’t be covering it. So many stories around that God looked after those who were crying out to Him. Cause if we look closer to what an abortion is…the way you Elana wrote ” 2020 cancelled “, so abortion is ” life is canceled”. Your dreams to grow up, make a difference, build meaningful relationships etc is being cancelled. So no one will grieve over your death because they don’t believe you ever existed.
So that’s part of my brave self reflection and grieving. I invite all in this community who feel that abortion is one of the wicked ways our world is walking in, we can pray for God’s forgiveness on behalf of the nations. If you know more of wicked ways nation is trapped in please share so we could unite in prayer. This darkness won’t go away if we don’t start doing our part God wants us to do. And let’s pray and bless our governments. I know that most of them don’t deserve a blessing, but hey, do any of us could be guaranteed that we deserve. God can use our blessings to impart wisdom on governing bodies.
Sending my warmest wishes from very sunny Ireland!
Elana says
Giedre, thanks and stay safe.
Karen says
I’m so terribly sorry for your losses. Please accept my condolences and support.
Elana says
Thanks so much Karen.
Mary K says
We all need to know that the numbers of deaths are personal. They are a part of someone’s family. Although this is such a painful time for you and your family, I would like to say thank you for making one of those who have died real and for you sharing this. My heart breaks for you and all those who are grieving for those they love.
Your blog makes your family become a part of my “family” as you share your journey and so help me in mine. Be gentle with yourself as you now must set out on a journey of grief.
Elana says
Mary, thanks for sharing your very astute, kind, and sensitive thoughts here. Yes, that’s what my son said, this is personal for all of us, those are not just numbers. So many members of our great American family have been taken by the COVID tragedy which is far greater than 9/11 and yet the loss has not been acknowledged as such, which makes this country’s collective grief an overwhelmingly heavy burden to bare. Thank you for being part of my “family” and for your tremendous support and empathy. You are truly special. Stay safe.