In mid-March I wrote about the seriousness of COVID19. At that time, I didn’t know it would affect my family in a devastatingly personal way. I didn’t know that we’d be losing a loved one to COVID, and suffer so much more.
2020 Cancelled
I was scared and hunkered down at the outset of March, a bit before life stopped and 2020 was canceled, while many were still traveling around on vacations.
It Was The Worst Of Times
My knowledge and forethought did little to prepare me, or my family for the losses. Here I said “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Now it’s just the worst of times.
COVID And Our Loved Ones
COVID impacts us all with tremendous losses that are far too grave and widespread to detail here. Below are just a few of those my family has suffered.
Losing A Loved One To COVID
One family member is gone. One family friend is gone. Yes, two of our people are dead and will never come back.
COVID Rampant Danger
A robust young cousin suffered from COVID19. It was nothing like a flu. He appeared briefly at our Zoom Passover Seder and 15 days out looked like he had been hit by a truck.
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Praying For Our Health Warriors
A dear friend is a nurse on the front lines and shows up for work day after day in New York City while we worry that she will not be given personal protective equipment (PPE). She doesn’t care. She wants to save your life. I pray she will not lose hers.
9/11 x Ten = 30,000 Dead
This virus has killed more than 30,000 Americans. That is ten 9/11s in a few weeks, and the death count marches on. I can no longer bear to hear the word “hoax” in any context whatsoever.
The Opposite Of Preparedness
Why does a simple one-syllable word bring me to tears? It reminds me that the US was focused on “small government” and killed our Global Health Office. It reminds me that while other countries were fighting a battle against invisible terror orders of magnitude more threatening than 9/11, our government was still denying its existence. That is the opposite of preparedness.
Patriotic Americans
This is the moment for patriotic Americans to make time for brave self-reflection. And for grieving. It is a time to understand what it is to be human and vulnerable. To look at what it means to be part of a family. And to look at how we can be better Americans.
A Time For Self-Reflection
This is the time for the patriotism that makes our country great. To look at our mistakes so that we can improve. A time to honor the fallen, so needlessly sacrificed to a terrifying enemy, as our country, ruled by disorganized dysfunction and chaos, allowed it to run rampant. We can do better than this.
Michele says
Elana, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family.
I was thinking about you a few weeks ago recalling your health journey that you so generously shared with us and really hoping you were hunkered down and staying healthy. I am sending my love and prayers to you and your family.
Elana says
Michele, thanks for your kind thoughts and words. My husband and the boys and I are hunkered down and safe right now. I hope you and yours are as well. Stay safe and sending love to you and yours.
Yvonne says
Elana am so sorry to hear if your loss. We will hold you and your family in our hearts and prayers.
You have enhanced our lives so much for all theses years and I hope you can feel our gratitude, appreciation and love at this time. God bless you ❤️.
Elana says
Yvonne, you are so kind. Thank you and big hugs.
D says
I am very sorry for your loss, Elana. May you feel the vibe of comfort, compassion, and support I am sending you. Blessings for much love, good health, and wellness to you and yours.
Elana says
D, thanks for sending all the good things. Appreciate you very much.
Catherine says
I am so sorry. I am a longtime fan of your recipes from Canada, and I am saddened by all the people impacted by this disease, particularly when that impact could have been mitigated, as it could have been in your country. I really hope things change over there. Thank you for being brave and speaking out.
Elana says
Catherine, thanks for your very kind words. How are things holding up in Canada? I have readers in South Korea who have let me know life is going on per usual given that they have had enough tests to diagnose COVID early and often. Curious to hear about things in your country from on the ground.Take care.
Dona Becker says
Yes, South Korean’s president never wanted the country to experience again what they experienced during the SARS epidemic. They stockpiled after that devastation and it really paid off.
Anna says
Dear Elana,
We offer our most sincere condolences for your loss, and the losses of so many around the world. We also pray that soon, people will begin to realize that this is not a time for politics and blame.
There are far too many who have chosen not to be part of a solution, but instead, to use this in a self serving attempt to strengthen their position, and widen the divides between us.
Prayers lifting, for overcoming this virus, and those that would exploit it.
Elana says
Thanks Anna.
Lisbeth Whitney says
Elana,
I’m so sorry to learn of your family’s losses. I hope the following words from the head of Maine CDC might bring you some comfort that you are not alone and we are listening.
This is from his news briefing yesterday, 4.17.2020
“Today is Friday. Or Tuesday. I’ve heard it both ways. It’s evidently a holiday weekend. But who knew about that? And that’s sort of the point.
These are very tumultuous times. It’s 2020, and I don’t know about you, but I thought in 2020 I’d be tuning up my time machine, or programming my own personal flying pod. But instead, I’ve been learning how to use bar soap properly, and singing “Happy Birthday” to myself eight to twelve times a day.
It’s more than confusing, it’s downright bewildering. And I’ve been trying to get a sense of how I myself personally feel. I alternate from being upset, disappointed, powerless, confused, and frankly, sometimes unworthy. And what is all of that? At least for me, personally, when I throw it into a blender, what I get is one thing, which for me, is grief.
I think many of us right now are grieving not only the lives of Maine people who we’ve lost, but also grieving the lives that we ourselves used to have not too long ago; our own personal remembrances of things past. The hobbies that used to define us; the habits and haunts that we used to enjoy… for many of us, those have been replaced by nothing. And I think, for a lot of us, we’re collectively grieving that loss, that rapid, sudden change.
And so what do we do about it? Well, first, for me, is to recognize that grief is not a problem to be solved. It’s a feeling to be reckoned with and discussed. And for me, weathering these uncertain times entails acknowledging and grieving the routines that we’ve all lost, and then creating new ways and new routines to move forward.
But the second thing is, for me, to talk to somebody. And I ask, and have asked each of you to do the same; to reach out to somebody. When you call up that friend, when you call up that family member, when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills- you know the one; be open to sharing your feelings of grief. As important as that is though, it’s also important not just to talk to folks, but to listen to them, too.
You can still be there for people, even if you’re not there with them. And just as important as it is to call that old friend, it’s just as important to listen to that old friend when they call. Listening really matters right now, perhaps more than ever before. And so when that old friend calls you, please recognize that you may be the person that that individual is reaching out to for their own health. You may be the person that that individual is reaching out to, to share their own grief. So when that person, that old friend calls you, please pick up the phone.
These are difficult times, but I just want everyone to know that in this life, you are not on your own.”
-Dr. Nirav Shah 4/17/20
Elana says
Lisbeth, thanks for sharing this, it’s so beautiful. Stay safe and take care.
Melanie says
So sorry for your losses, Elana. Your post brought me to tears. Huge hugs. I live in Boulder too and feel we’re very like-minded. Reach out if you ever need a friend. My 80 year old mom lives in Florida where action was taken very late in the game, and I’ve heard her repeat the four letter “h” word. What nonsense are people listening to? Can’t they see with their own eyes? Just blown away that folks are planning to gather together and protest social distancing and staying home! Sending love and positive vibes your way.
Elana says
Melanie, thanks for your sweet comment neighbor. Let’s stay home and stay safe until there are enough tests to go out and be safe.
Kay Fekety says
So sorry Elana for your losses. Life today is surreal. To keep it short, I agree with all the comments prior to mine, and wish you, your family, friends and followers, health and comfort from God. Stay safe everyone…..
Elana says
Thanks so much Kay. Stay safe.
Patricia Kemp says
I’m sorry for your loss, Elana and ever so sorry that Americans don’t realize what has happened in our country. Your post is right on and we need to make sure that the foolishness doesn’t continue. America had lead time and could have been better prepared. Many of us love you and your helpful posts.
Elana says
Patricia, thanks for your kind words of support.
Cindy Rash says
Elana, I’m so sorry for your losses. Also sorry there are so many gullible people in our country. I listen to everything going on and see so clearly how they are being duped by limiting their sources of information. This didn’t have to happen. Our intelligence people knew early on this pandemic was on the way. Washington has blinders instead of masks. We do have power to change this. That’s why we vote. Those followers you lost are wearing blinders too and want to believe lies. I wish you well. Cindy
Elana says
Cindy, thanks so very much.