The boys went back to school a week or so ago, and now that September is upon us, we have resumed our routine in earnest. That means chores, lots of them, and no slacking off whatsoever.
During the summer our life is free form –the entire neighborhood congregates at my house, probably because of the abundance of food. Even teenage boys want their cupcakes. And when it comes to chores, the boys are so busy hanging out with their friends, that every now and then I’ll empty the dishwasher myself instead of interrupting their play.
Not so when school is back in session. Forget to do your chores and you are grounded the next day. Worse, if you are seriously slacking off? You may be handed your brother’s tasks on top of your own. For a week. That is the ultimate consequence –double chore duty.
What chores do my boys perform?
- Sets table with silverware, napkins and water
- Clears table
- Washes table
- Puts all food away in glass jars
- Wipes down kitchen counters
- Wipes out kitchen sink with Bon Ami
, rinses and dries sink ’til it sparkles
- Takes dirty rags and cloth napkins to hamper in laundry room
He also pitches in by taking charge of these twice per week responsibilities:
- Sorts dirty clothes into three categories: regular, delicate, rags
- Runs clothes through washer and dryer
My 12 year old does the following daily duties (with great reticence):
- Runs dishwasher
- Unloads dishwasher
- Takes out recycling
- Takes out compost
The work that the boys do is a significant contribution. They further help me with any additional tasks I ask them to do. That might mean helping me chop up veggies for dinner, or sweeping the floor. I love being in the kitchen with my children and always have (though I probably can’t say the same for them).
Free exclusive eBook, plus recipes and health tips, delivered to your inbox.
The boys started pitching in when they were very little. My older son used to pull herbs off their stems for me when he was just two years old. He became responsible for setting the table when he was around four years old, about the time he started preschool. At that time I had my children take on the responsibility of packing their lunches. I made sure they did this the night before as to avoid adding stress to our mornings.
My favorite chore that the boys now partake in is picking kale from our front yard (I tore out the flower beds to make room for veggies). I love watching them go out there with a big bowl and little scissors. My younger son makes a mean version of my Raw Kale Salad –I will feature his recipe on here soon. He is truly a wonderful and discerning little chef.
My older son has said this about the younger:
“My brother is a better overall chef –but my specialty is desserts.”
That about sums up my happy little family. What about yours? What do you think of chores? What do your children do and how do you persuade them to take action around the house?
Christy says
I have a 2 year old little boy that loves to help with dusting, cleaning windows, changing laundry, feeding the dog and letting her in/outside, sorting the clean silverware out of the dishwasher and making all of Elanas wonderful ice cream recipes in our new ice cream maker :)
I LOVE the idea of starting a chore chart now, so that his excitement for these tasks continues. I want to go home and make one right now! Where do I find a good magnetic chore chart? Does anyone have any tips on ways to organize the chart if I make it myself?
Terri Willis says
OMG Elana! I am so impressed. Wished I’d read something like this when my kids were younger. It would have been so much easier to give them chores starting at two. (In my defense, my teen-age son has been doing his own laundry since he was ten when he complained about how I did it!)
I plan on sharing this with the family and adding to his daily chore list!
Thanks (though my son won’t thank either of us right now)
Deb Kinney says
Elana, thanks for writing about the topic of chores. I was a single mom and my daughter started doing chores when she was 3. By 7 she had to put dinner on the table once a week (something green and a protein – standards were loose), but by 10 she could cook a chicken and was doing laundry. Today she is 23 and in her first job, having gotten a scholarship to college and worked too. She groused during some chores like any child, but when a chore was new and challenging enough, she felt special to get to do it. Real self esteem is built by expecting children to take on difficult tasks and do them well. Guidance and encouragement are crucial, but so are high expectations. Kids are amazing and love being responsible when given the chance.
Elana Daley says
Sammy is setting the table and clearing his own plate and utensils. We have developed a reward board as he has been asking for a remote control helicopter. He dresses himself, puts away his toys, feeds the pets, and when I bake he jumps right in. Sam is 5.5 and he is very interested in working hard to get the remote control helicopter. He loves to toss the clothes into the washer and attempts to carry the laundry basket from the bedroom to the laundry area. It’s fun to work and play with him. He is very interested in learning hebrew so we are pursuing that too.
It’s because of him that I found you. My desire to make healthier choices for all of us came about when I began making homemade baby food. Your boys are grown up compared to the photo shared years ago of them eating home made popsicles. Time really flies and there is no cliche.
Thank you for your years of contribution to our home.
Sarah says
We homeschool. Chores are the main part of our Citizenship “curriculum” since being a good citizen starts with governing yourself to do that which you ought to do. This is why we have never paid for regular chores. Just as the dinner table is the first school of manners, chores within a family are the first school of citizenship. This is why we don’t pay for chores. Everyone contributes and learns to serve others through chores. Our older two kids now do a lot of jobs for several neighbors to earn money (dog sitting, watering, etc.).
Chores our children currently do:
Our 14 yo daughter and 12 yo son trade off every day doing barn chores and preparing supper. They both can cook several complete meals without my direct supervision at this point because they’ve been “apprenticing” with me in the kitchen for years already. Both can fix breakfast as well: fried/scrambled eggs/omlettes to order, hot cereals, bacon, etc. They also take turns packing lunches for their father. They do all dishes by hand and are teaching their younger sister to do dishes. My 14 yo spends her own money on ingredients for special occasion recipes. (She subscribes to food blogs, too, because she enjoys baking.)
Barn chores include milking the goat, feeding/watering all animals (steers, goats, chickens, cats, dog). They clean the stalls. They wash all the eggs they gather. They do all the mowing on our property. They can do all sorts of odd jobs for their dad including setting up electric fencing, checking oil and tire pressure, finding the exact tool their dad needs. They have both painted a room, torn out a wall, unloaded hay and corn from the truck, repaired fences.
They know how to do all aspects of cleaning a house. We have daily house chores posted for all three children. The older children can do laundry, but I prefer to do most of it myself.
The youngest, 9 yo girl with disabilities, sets and clears the table, is learning to wash/rinse the dishes, folds laundry (with supervision), puts away laundry, cleans the foyer area, sweeps floors, empties all trash baskets, dusts with supervision.
My observation is that adults vastly underestimate what children are capable of doing. And, chores are the best character building program we’ve ever come across. :)
Candy @ Heathy In Candy Land says
My boys, 6 and 9 have been doing chores for a few years now, and like your family, they do more during the year and less during the summer. I just made up a new chore chart the other day that they mark off daily and earn a “behavior buck” for with a completed column per day. After a certain number of behavior bucks accumulated they can earn special priveleges like extra computer time, a sleepover, etc. My 1st grader feeds the dog, takes out the garbage, empties the silverware from the dishwasher, clears his dishes, cleans up after himself, and my 4th grader feeds the cat, empties the recycling and compost, empties the rest of the dishwasher, clears his dishes and also cleans up after himself. They are loving the reward system (so far anyway–we’re only two days in), and I think having to chores makes them more responsible, and accountable members of the household. I love that your boys cook too! I need to work more on that with mine. Right now they like helping to make treats, but that’s about it.
Amy says
My kids both have chores, nothing too major but my husband and I think it’s really important for them to know how a household works…I remember going to college and seeing those poor helpless boys (and a few girls too) stare blankly at the laundry machines. Worse were the boys who managed to wash ALL their clothes in hot water with a red sweatshirt! I vowed I would not let my kids loose in the world without some skills. Chores help them appreciate that they are part of a team and one person shouldn’t have to do everything! My daughter is 12 and she unloads the dishwasher and helps cook, and my 10 year old son folds laundry and usually helps set the table depending on soccer. They both clear their own plates from the table and put them in the dishwasher and have been doing that since they were about 4! Love it!
Erin says
My son is grown now, and a very responsible young man. When he was young, I handled chores matter-of-fact: in this family, we help each other. I gave him choices like either bring in the groceries or put them away, either gather and sort the laundry and start it or fold the dryer clothes and put them away…things like that where he had a choice which of the two things to do, and together we got them done :)
I can vouch for while they might complain at the time, he recently thanked me for helping him grow into a responsible person. We laughed because when he was young, he acted like doing chores was because I was the meanest mom out there — he said the truth was he thought I was too nice a lot of the time and that he really didn’t mind doing chores!
Life is grand :)
Rebekah says
My six-year-old makes her bed, helps fold kitchen towels and washcloths, pairs socks, and puts her folded laundry away. She also cleans up the playroom and other various chores as needed. My two-year-old helps clean up the playroom and she has other “jobs” like putting her shoes away and turning off her nightlight. I grew up with regular horse and I think they are invaluable for teaching important household skills as well as how to be part of the family.
renee says
Thanks for sharing. My kids think they have it rough with “too many chores”. Now I can share your blog today and these comments.
Best, Renee