Feel Grateful For The Body You Live In
The other day I was on Instagram, and saw a message from one of my favorite accounts. So I hopped on over to visit @AmberRomaniuk and took a look at her latest post. It said: “Feel Grateful For The Body You Live In.” And I do. I love yoga, walking, and hanging out on my Bongo Board to play and practice balancing. There are so many parts of me that are working. And compared to most people who have suffered from MS for decades, I am thriving.
Do I Feel Grateful?
So, I asked myself, do I feel grateful? The answer is complex. And it includes this part: NOT ALWAYS. Living with three autoimmune diseases and the BRCA and MTHFR genetic mutations has become a full time job.
Will I Work Again?
Someday, I may be able to work and travel again and not lead a restricted lifestyle. And, that may not ever happen. My life may continue to be limited. Beyond a doubt, I am grateful for everything at my disposal when it comes to dealing with my health. I have the brains and financial resources to be totally empowered and make fantastic decisions. Still, there are so many factors that are far beyond my control.
Living In Limbo
Although I’ve done everything in my power, I live in limbo. Since 2014, I’ve had no idea what the next day will bring in terms of my health. Will I be able to go to the things I have planned? Or will I be home bedridden, exhausted, and barely able to function. This past year, 2018 was my toughest ever. Although I cannot go into detail here, I can tell you, it was the first time I worried every single day that I’d end up in a wheel chair. I’ve had a better year in 2019 and seem to be on the mend, but still, never know what’s around the corner.
Losing a Career
I’ve gone from writing books, going on tour and appearing on Fox News to speak about diet and health, to spending my life in medical offices. Doctor appointments and multiple forms of physical therapy rule my days. And still, I have so much more than I could ever express here to be thankful for. It’s confusing to say the least.
Look On The Bright Side
Life is strange. When you lose something that you had it doesn’t ever really feel good. Often I make my days a practice in acceptance. And I’ve become very zen about my life and accepted it for what it is. Still, having always been out and about in the world, and worked since I was eight years old, there’s a missing piece. I did not retire by choice. I was forced into it. And there’s a deep sadness about this loss.
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Are You Living In Limbo?
Is your life hanging in the balance of a bunch of medical issues? Has it gone on for a long time? What has it stopped you from doing? And what do you still enjoy and love most? Life is complicated, so leave a comment and let me know how you’re doing friends! This community is one of the juiciest things in my life and keeps me going every single day.
Monique says
Hi Elana As always thank you for sharing. I have RA since 1997 and found your blog in 2008 when I started following a paleo diet after I could no longer tolerate the medication I was taking to manage the disease. Paleo helped significantly until I reached menopause last year at the age of 50. It has made the disease more severe and aggressive than the 22 years I have had it. I hope to find my way out of this ‘pit’ and live more fully but for now I am so grateful for my wonderful husband and a few good friends who support me through these challenges. I wonder if you have found hormones to be a factor in your health?
Elana says
Monique, thanks for your comment and for sharing your experience here. Yes, I as of this writing I am 52, and I and all of my friends have found this to be a factor :-)
Michele says
I so appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. As someone with an autoimmune disease, I am inspired by your writing, enriched by your recipes, and hopeful for your future. Wishing you continued healing.
Elana says
Michele, thanks for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful comment. It means the world to me :-)
Maria says
Thank you Elana for putting into words something I have also felt for a long time. It is a loss to be “forced into retirement”. I left my carreer as a lawyer first to care for my chronically sick daughter and, later, to care for my own autoimmune problems. Thankfully, we have recovered, but maintaining our health is a full-time job. I know I have also changed on a deep level from what I have experienced. I hope, like you, that I can find the right balance between work and self-care. Thank you for being a big part of my healing journey these last 7 years. I am amazed at all of the resources now, but you were my first and only one for quite some time. With much gratitude and prayers that you be given the strength to persevere on your path, Maria
Elana says
Maria, thanks for your fantastic comment and for being on this healing journey with me :-)
Karen Tressler says
2019 has been my best year in two decades. I’m still treating Lyme & Co, and had extensive dental work done this year. 2018 was all about knee replacements. 2017 was all about hospice. And most of the previous decade was dedicated to Lyme recovery, with decades before diagnosis dedicated to trying to get a diagnosis (of anything that made sense). 2019 has seen me increase my hours at work to 20 per week on average, between three flexible part time jobs. I’m once again tip toeing into creating occasionally. (The mess from the creative process can be so overwhelming that it inhibits creativity.) I’m more mobile, have better cognitive function, and overall feel better. I am beyond grateful. Back in the day when I was in a wheel chair, I didn’t dare hope for such a positive outcome. Life has surprised me and reminded me that sometimes things do get better. I have to keep up my PT and my exercises and my diet…..and I enjoy doing that. I appreciate your recipes and your sharing your journey. It has given me the courage to share mine with those I come in contact with. We can make a difference in the lives of others. You do that beautifully. Thank you.
Elana says
Karaen, what a beautiful comment! I especially cherish this part, “We can make a difference in the lives of others. You do that beautifully.” Thanks for the reminder and for being on this wild ride with me. So inspired to hear about your self-care too :-)
Lisa says
I can SO relate and yes that question is very complex. When I saw the headline, my first answer was ‘no’ I’m not very grateful, more resentful if I’m honest. That makes me feel guilty because I know there are others worse off than me in many ways, not just the physical. Yet, knowing that doesn’t make my life any easier, nor does it make their life worse. I actually get very angry with people that say things like “It could be worse” when they see a small portion of what someone might be dealing with. For example, someone having 2 broken legs would be worse than one broken leg, however the one broken leg is not better because of that fact, nor does it hurt less. I try to think about the hidden factors someone is dealing with before making a judgement.
I AM grateful that you wrote this though because as you’ve shown it’s complex, not a straight forward thing and can change from day to day. It also made me realize that I am thankful for much more than I first thought. I too wonder if, or when I may become wheelchair bound and currently live a very restricted life, which impacts my family. As loving and understanding as they are, it still affects them and causes me some guilt regardless. Many on the outside only see what we show them and most don’t know what it’s like to have 42 doctors appointments in 10 months, how much time, energy and money that consumes, even with excellent medical insurance. And yet, I’m so fortunate that I have access, ability and the finances to do that.
This article brightened my day and put things in perspective that I sometimes find difficult to articulate. Thank you and God bless you Elana, I hope you continue onward to improved health.
Elana says
Lisa, what an AWESOME comment. I laughed out loud at the part about 42 doctors appointment in 10 months because it is so absurd AND I’ve done it myself. Big hugs to you ❤️
Lisa says
Thanks Elana, big hugs to you too!
Carolyn says
You have done an amazing job and you have every right to be proud. Some of us do the best we can, but still struggle. My life is filled with using a nebulizer 3 times per day and being on oxygen 24/7. I never smoked. I did nothing to cause this. No diet or exercise can help me. To me, you seem really lucky.
Elana says
Thanks Carolyn!
Stacy says
Sometimes it’s too easy to get lost in the cycle of chronic pain/illness. Thanks for the much needed reminder to remain positive, present, and especially grateful.
Elana says
Stacy, you’re welcome!
Lisa Koehl says
I’d say maintaining this blog is definitely “work” so I think you’re still working. You just have a bit more flexibility!
Elana says
Thanks Lisa! It is work, but it’s gone from 50 hours a week to more like 5-10 hours a week :-)
Jeri says
So beautifully written with transparency that most of us who follow you can identify with.
Elana says
Jeri, thanks for you wonderful comment :-)
Kristin says
Elana, thank you for your vulnerability in your words and story. I always learn something when I come to your blog, not to mention ever single one of your recipes are easy and delicious. You are for sure my go-to website. Thanks for keeping it real and for getting questions that I might ask myself out here. Blessings and health.
Elana says
Kristin, thanks for your incredible comment and for being on this healing path with me :-)